Content Warning: Abuse, addiction.

Do you have stories you feel you can't share, Reader?

Stories that are so personal you're too terrified to put them into the world? Stories that make your throat constrict and your palms sweat?

You know the ones.

Maybe they're about...

• An abusive ex who threw a chair through a window when you asked him to pick up his shoes.
• A toxic boss who said you're "not a team player" because you spoke up about shady office politics.

Or maybe they're less about someone else's bad behavior.

Maybe you're afraid to tell a story that makes you look bad.

You want to write a story about that time you learned to sail in Greece, but you're thinking...

People will think I'm a rich b*tch if I write about that!

Or perhaps you did a shitty thing in the past and grew from it. You want to write a story...

About overcoming an addiction. Or cheating on an exam or your fiancee. Or being the bully in your 6th-grade class.

(Not saying that's you, Reader... but we all have craptastic moments we're not proud of).

What do you do when you WANT to write the scary stories, but it feels like you just can't?

First, Reader, you're not alone.

Every writer I've known has stories that feel too painful to share.

Some decide to share them (think Oprah sharing about the sexual abuse in her childhood). Some writers keep those stories to themselves.

Either way, you're in good company.

A few years ago, I wrote an essay about a traumatic experience from my early 20's. It was terrifying. Mortifying.

But the story needed to be told. It was my way of processing 20+ years of confusion. It had to come out.

That story was published in a top-tier journal and nominated for the Pushcart Prize (twice). I'm extremely proud of that essay.

The thing is, Reader, sharing the scary, vulnerable story is a personal choice.

And there are consequences to being vulnerable.

If you write about an abusive ex or boss and they see it, they could retaliate.

If you write about addiction in your 20's, your colleagues might judge you. If you run for office in 10 years, an opponent could use it against you.

The benefits: you get to OWN your story.

It's YOUR job as a writer to weigh the benefits against the consequences.

Here are a few questions to journal on and help you decide:

• What kind of blowback (if any) will this story create?

• Will this story put me or my loved ones in bodily danger?

• What negative consequences will happen if I don't share this story?
(This is a juicy one we often don't think about. What will be lost if you don't share your experience?)

• Can I fictionalize this story to protect myself and the innocent?

• How might my life change for the better if I share this story?

• Will the world be better if I share this story? How?

Reminder: you are never obligated to share your personal stories, Reader.

You could write it up in Google docs, print it out, and burn it. No one has to read it.

You don't owe anyone your story.

But if that story feels trapped, if it feels like it's eating at your soul to stay silent, then play with the questions above to decide if you're ready to share it with the world.

Another option:

Write a 2% scary story.

Instead of writing the story that mortifies you to the point of panic attacks, write about something that scares you just a little bit. Just 2% scary.

For me, that was writing about the time I lost my skirt in the 1st grade.

(I'm not kidding. My skirt disappeared and I was bottomless in front of my classmates.)

That story is embarrassing but not mortifying. It's 2% scary.

Writing the "2% scary" story will help you grow your courage muscle. Eventually, you'll write a 10% scary story. Then 40%.

Then someday, that story you "couldn't write" won't seem so scary. You'll have the courage you need to...

“Speak your mind even if your voice shakes.” – Maggie Kuhn

Whatever story you're working on, Reader, I'm in your corner and rooting for you. You've got this.

Write on,
Renee

PS – What's holding you back from sharing "that" story, Reader? Hit reply and we can work through it together.